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A Mother's Tips for Her Outbound Exchange Student
Great suggestions for getting along with your host family.
Hey Ryan,
How are you doing honey? I know it isn't always easy being an exchange student. We are proud of you for having the courage to go on the exchange. After hosting exchange students, these are some suggestions I want to share with you so that things will go well for you. I realize that you know this stuff, so consider it as a reminder.
* Keep all of your stuff in your room. Don't leave socks, papers and
gym bags laying around the common area of the house.
* Don't leave your clothes and towels on the bathroom floor.
Just keep your bathroom toiletries in one special place ( in a toiletries
bag or in a drawer ) and be neat about it.
*Offer to do your own laundry, but do it about once a week to avoid a
foul smell in your room.
*Put your laundry away in drawers or in your closet. In other words,
use the closet and drawers in your bedroom - not the floor or laying things on
furniture.
*Getting in the habit of making your bed each morning would be great!
* Don't take dishes of food into your bedroom. However, if you do, be
sure to promptly return the dishes to the kitchen after you have eaten.
*Every time you get out of someone's car say "Thanks for the ride."
Even if it is a regular ride to practice or class, be sure to show that you
are appreciative every time.
*Don't be gone from home all of the time. Host families don't sign up
because they want to offer a free hotel and shuttle service.
*When Henriette makes you dinner always tell her what you
especially liked about the meal or just say, "Thanks for dinner." - Don't just
walk away without saying SOMETHING about the dinner. Help with the
clean up would be super. Before dinner say stuff like, "Something sure
smells good." Or say, "That looks great." "You are such a good
cook." is nice to hear, too.
*Very often - almost daily, say, "What can I do to help?" Or, if you
don't want to say that, look around and see what needs to be done and do
it without being asked- clean the sink, vacuum, rake leaves, set the
table, take out the trash, clean a window, sweep, help Alexander review for
a test- do something to show that you are a big help to your
family.
*If Matthias is doing house maintenance or yard work, without
being asked, go outside and start helping him or say "I need to leave at
11:00, but before I go, what can I do to help you?"
*Greet each family member when you see them in the morning. Say good night
to your host family before you go to your room at night.
*I believe you are at least the 4th exchange student Henriette and Matthias
have hosted. She said her last Rotary Exchange Student was an American who
spent an unusual amount of time in his bedroom with the door closed. She
said they didn't know what he was doing in his bedroom for so much of the
time. Not good. She also said that they never
received any contact from the parents of their first exchange student. (I
realize that people don't sign up to be a host family so that they can
be appreciated, but your dad and I feel it is critical
that your host family know how much we appreciate what they are doing
for you. That is why we have mailed them thank you cards and phoned
them to make sure things are going smoothly and to let them know how very much
we appreciate all that they are doing for you.)
*When someone in your host family is sick or has had something bad happen
to them, take an interest in them. Often ask how they are feeling
and ask if you can get something for them. Take the initiative to do
something for them to make make their life easier, to let them know
that you care and want to help - such as fix dinner which would relieve
them the burdent, make them a card, bring them flowers, do a chore for them that
they usually do. Helping out the family in a time of difficulty shows that you
are a loyal family member.
*Let your family know when you won't be home for dinner.
*Tell your host family when they can expect you home in the evening and
phone them if that time changes.
It is all about me. It is all about what I want, It is all
about me. If this is your tune, change it. Think of others
- your family.
*Do something to recognize their birthdays, such as buy a dessert or
flowers or make a card.
*Share our culture with your host family.
*When you are around your host parents, don't have earphones in
listening to music.
*Once in a while buy them flowers for no special
occasion and/or leave a note on the kitchen counter or somewhere
telling them how much you are enjoying being in their family and that you
appreciate all they do for you.
*Surprise Alexander by doing one of his chores for him. Think of a way
to be a blessing to him.
*Don't open something that hasn't been opened before without asking.
(cookies, chips, etc.)
*Don't take the last piece, unless it is offered - bread, pie, piece of
chicken.
*Don't dip stuff in your soup (bread) or in your glass of milk
(cake).
*Don't pick up your cereal bowl and drink the milk.
*Remember last year when I wanted to go to a show at Stevens
College and no one else was interested in going with me? Then Ludwig
said, "I'll go with you." (I think you and Ben's couldn't
believe that Ludwig would volunteer to do such a thing.) Well, I thought it
was such a nice gesture. I really appreciated him going with me to the
show. So, if your host mom or dad want to go somewhere, or run
an errand, or go to an event, but not especially by themselves you might
want to say, "Would you like me to go with
you?" Even if you don't especially want to go, it shows that you are part
of the family and you will BE THERE for your family.
Now that you have been there awhile, ask your host parents if there is
something you need to do differently or if there is anything that you are
doing that bugs them.
Okay, enough of that. We think you are doing a super job as an
exchange student and we wish you continued success.
Love,
Mom